Who Am I?

No worries all, I haven't had an identity crisis.  I've just been thinking about how I am drawn to so many different things.  Humor and light hearted nonsense are always my first picks and when there is nothing else a little bit of seriousness works its way in.  I always seem to resist the 'serious' things in life.  Serious books, movies, relationships and conversations are always put off as long as possible.  Yet, when I finally yield they feed me like nothing else.  Humor always makes me smile, something I don't do enough.  Nonsense, is a gift I am always waiting to receive.  But, they are not sustaining, not like the 'serious' in my life.  So why do I avoid it at all costs?  It's like being faced with a jar of colorful jellybeans and one of carrots and celery that are just as colorful and being drawn to the jelly beans.  A wise person may choose the veggies, but not after much debate.  The things that we truly need are often the very things we avoid.  Or at least that's how it appears in my life. 

Here's the part that I don't have an answer for.  If every time I read or view some deep bit of wisdom with a little dose of heaviness, I come away saner and maybe even, dare I say, a little wiser why do I make it my last call?  The last thing I choose.  When all humor is exhausted and nonsense worth my time can't be found, then and only then do I pick up that which I really need. 

Not to say humor and nonsense aren't important, but some how when they have passed they seem fleeting and I feel a bit empty.  But deep serious always gives me plenty to chew on long after it's first taste.