Pages

Friday, April 1, 2011

Quiet Time with Cary Grant

Why do I like to be alone?  If I was alone all the time, would this be something I crave?  Both questions are rhetorical.  In fact, both are really one.  I crave being alone, because I rarely am.  But, there is a part of me that wants to delve deeper, shocking I know.  I am usually such a shallow creature.  This time, my mind seems to want to wander and explore the idea of how much of my feelings are nature and how much are nurture? 

I spent much of my youth alone and a bit on the outside.  I'm sure if you were to get a hold of my journals from those days, they would weave quite a tale of misery.  But truth be told, I enjoyed my quiet days and nights in which I could reflect on the meaning behind R.E.M.'s lyrics or watch spellbound as Cary Grant charmed his way into the hearts of Irene Dunne, Katherine Hepburn, & even myself.  I thrived in my alternate universe.  One in which I made all the choices and didn't have to worry about what I said and it's ramifications.  In essence, it created this being that I am now, this person of deep self analysis.  I must say that this little trail really leaves me no closer to an answer for the whole nature and nurture quandary.  But, I guess it doesn't really matter, because suddenly all I want to do is put in 'My Favorite Wife' and listen to some 90's grunge.  I'll have to finish this debate later, although perhaps maybe I have just given all of us my answer.

2 comments:

  1. I am going with nature on this one. Truth be told I enjoy my alone time as well, but only if I have already "helped" atleast one person/animal that day. Somehow, then and only then, does the time feel earned or justified. perhaps my craving for alone is more nurture than nature? Who knows....I never have been good at this self-analysis thing. I don't think I want a light shining on me long enough to discover any hard truths; atleast not any that can't be brushed under a rug. In the mean time, turn up R.E.M. and put on Philadelphia Story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are truly brilliant at self analysis! Years of practice with me makes it impossible to be otherwise. ...by helping the animals/people you are at least earning the right to sleep at night.
    In the mean time enjoy, Philadelphia Story.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.