I have never been much of a collector. Growing up in a transient military household we were not encouraged to have 'things'. Just the word 'clutter' sends chills up my spine. However, I do admire a well placed Marthaesque collection displayed just so on the cover of a magazine. So much so that I even began to desire my own collection. Unfortunately for me, my Spartan upbringing and nature will not allow me to collect inanimate objects that require regular dusting. However, my constantly functioning, yet occasionally misfiring brain, recently decided to bypass my sense and reasoning and has started a collection for me.
This collection doesn't require regular dusting, nor does it take up space in my home. At least not permanently. It is a collection of friends. Ahhh, doesn't that sound sweet. Not so much. You see I am an introvert. Well, an extroverted introvert. Yes, there really is such a thing. We are a rare group of people that like being around others and always seem to have fun, but find true rejuvenation and rest in being alone. Most people mistake us for outgoing extroverts and at times we even manage to confuse ourselves, but we truly enjoy being alone. Visiting and socializing is always entertaining but unfortunately it is also draining.
The solution for living a balanced life of an extroverted introvert appears simple enough and it is also my favorite word, balance. Go out with or have a few selected friends over to visit and enjoy my sparkling personality followed by plenty of alone time with that same sparkling personality. This so called balance has seemed to work well over the years, perhaps leaning a little more towards time alone, but still not so bad. Unfortunately, my desire for a collection along with my misfiring brain has caused some problems recently. Every where I go, I can't stop myself from befriending people. Just the other day I nearly invited the post office worker I was buying stamps from over for tea. Things have gotten out of control. It's as if I have become one of those women whose creepy dolls have taken over the house. To the point that when you walk in the living room they are sitting and laying all over the room. There isn't even a spot for a real person to sit on the couch. Not to say that the friends I have collected are creepy, well not all of them, but I have let things get out of control.
The Spartan in me just wants to go back to the necessities of life. One or two dear friends whose relationships provide a chance to give and receive along with plenty of time to sit in my office and stare out the window at my strange neighbor shoveling snow off the pond in the middle of a snow storm. I don't have an answer and I'm not saying collecting friends is wrong, but it is hard to be alone when one is always inviting the world over or out. Perhaps, if I just start picking up shot glasses from truck stops and have my husband build me a curio cabinet to place them in, I will convince my brain that we are indeed collecting something and I will once again find the balance I crave.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Minutes before I was about to make a new post, I came across another blog on why people unsubscribe. It was painfully amusing. For the most part, I follow the "How to Keep Subscribers" rules, but I was definitely struck by my lack of following one in particular. It, being written by a man and all, was brief and stated that you should not have your topics all over the place. He claimed this was just a window into an undisciplined life. I must say that I felt a strong need to stop and ponder this. You see, my blog is about my ramblings. Just whatever 'crap' (please read this word with a British accent, it just sounds better that way) or, on rare occasions, wisdom I feel like sharing with the outside world. To say I am undisciplined is almost comical. I mean, I can't go and neatly place my 'boots' in the boot tray without straightening the corner of the entry rug that was off by a few millimeters. So, now here I find myself in quite a quandary. Do I become more focused and stick to a common topic like "The Health Benefits of Knitting" or do I just stay with my original game plan, which was to write about my life in the hopes of helping myself and a very select few become comfortable in who they are? In order to be secure or know your own identity, you must be comfortable with your thoughts. You don't necessarily need to understand them, but you do need to befriend them and maybe share them on occasion. So, maybe I will just continue on and risk a possible pandemic of unsubscriptions on the grounds of principle. There, all that brilliance stated in less than 500 words. Just following the rules, well at least some of them.