I am beginning to question the validity of my having a blog. I truly find myself in a catch 22. It goes against every fiber of my being to 'brag' about my blog and invite people to read utter nonsense about me. However, if I continue on in the vein in which things are going, there will soon be no reason to continue, at least in such a public manner. I actually heard crickets chirping the last few times I clicked publish. Things have hit such a low that the Russians are no longer visiting. I once had some grand illusion that my writing was something that someone other than myself would want to read. I must say this blog attempt has placed me back in reality and I am now considering developing new talents in the areas of homemade cleaning products and basket weaving. I can see my booth at the farmer's market now, perhaps it may even be blog worthy, but alas not by me.
I am not saddened by these thoughts, but just questioning the use of my time and 'talents'. I grew up with a great love for creative gifts and a deep respect for people that had them. Anyone with an overbearing Asian or in my case Western mother can memorize facts and get a degree from an Ivy League school, but only those with a true creative gift can live a life of passion. At least this is how I have always felt. I spent most of my adolescence and a great deal of my adult life believing that I had a 'gift' and that it was only because of fear that I had never reached my potential.
I no longer believe this to be true. I do feel that I am a creative person and this will never change, but gifted I am not. At least not by the world's standards. Every day, I choose to approach things in a unique way and I know that this perspective, which I graciously share with my family each day, is a gift they receive with gratitude. I wasn't meant to shine for the world, but for those that I treasure most. So, there is no sadness for a dream brought to its end, but a joy for a reality that I can live with.
Tansy,
ReplyDeleteWe don't post responses simply because we don't believe we can aspire to your creative genius!
-Jill
I don't know Jill, your comment seems like genius to me. I once read that a true blog was a communication between the writer and their readers. I was just starting to feel as if maybe it was just me and no readers. I probably won't quit writing. Most of the time, I can't help myself anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm still reading. I just don't think my brain is creative enough to respond to your quick-wittedness. What I might say would just sound...dumb. So I choose not to respond at all. Your brain inspires me to think differently than I would otherwise.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, I should write a blog article encouraging readers to write 'read' in the comment box. Nothing else, just 'read'. I clearly I have some sick need for affirmation.
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