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Monday, December 6, 2010

Realistic Perspective

Whenever one decides to be oneself fully and completely, they need to expect to have to deal with some confrontation in their lives.  Being real with yourself and people doesn't automatically absolve you from dealing with the consequences of your actions.

I am constantly saying things that I wish I could take back.  Or as a friend of mine says about herself, "I have no filter."  In order to let my little Tansy light shine, I have to remain as unguarded as possible.  This can and has gotten very dangerous.  I used to think that being real with myself and everyone around me brought a certain freedom.  And to some extent it does, but it doesn't' free me from having to face awkward or even hurtful situations as a result of 'being me'.

I don't have any plans of becoming someone else, since I really don't know how to be other people.  But, I have decided to try and limit my self exposure to the world.  Not everyone is going to find me likable or interesting and despite being someone that needs constant affirmation of my complete genius, I have accepted this.  Or at least am making a statement to all the world that I want to accept this. 

Ultimately, I hope to come to a place where being me is about being me and not about finding acceptance as me.  I will give you a moment to try and figure that one out .......... Okay, let me be more articulate.  Being myself should be for the sole purpose of achieving what I was created for, not so that everyone will love me.  That being said feel free to comment about how deep and amazing you find me.

4 comments:

  1. the only advice I ever have to offer:
    you were born an original, don't become a copy.
    i love your Tansy light just the way it is.

    I have a "save the date" request...
    June 19th- 21st- Chicago & Alinea- specifics when you have time to talk. Miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. by the way- previous comment not by alix, but her madre.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was just thinking how deep and insightful she was. By the way, consider the date saved!

    ReplyDelete

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